Five Ways to be Extra Basic at School This Fall

Michael Cheuvront, Student Life

  In and amongst our treasured urban landscape of education and development lies the true heart of this country– Pumpkin Spice Lattes and Ugg Boots. As the seasons shift and the sun finally discovers its mellow, we can’t help but drain our bank accounts on fall-themed everything. It’s unavoidable. It’s inevitable. It’s a phenomenon known to teenagers as being basic. The art of being basic is practiced throughout the whole year, but when we’re supplied with an overwhelming amount of white girl resources in the same season, it’s best if we just embrace the official period of basic in all its glory. No place in the fall, however, masters the art of basic better than a high school. Here, the ancient practice has been seen for generations. In order to keep the art of basic timeless, here are five ways you can embrace your inner pumpkin spice this fall at school.

Wear It With Pride

You can’t go too far in any store during the fall without seeing some type of ‘comfort chic’ autumn clothing. Find your nearest Target and grab every pair of leggings and pumpkin-embroidered T-shirts you can find in a ¼ mile radius.

Try– But Not Too Hard

The secret to making your friends see that you’re basic during the fall is to make it seem like you’re not trying. Wake up at least an hour early to perfect your lazy-but-eye-catching outfit. It should consist of the stretchy and fuzzy materials you bought at Target, but every color tone and texture pairing must be crafted carefully. If people compliment you, the correct response is always “OMG! I totally woke up SO late today, I didn’t even try!” 

Calories Count (Sometimes)

Summer is an eternity away, so pig out during the fall (mostly because it’s impossible not to). Starbucks should be your best friend, and you shouldn’t be caught dead at school without your pumpkin spice latte, pumpkin spice scone, pumpkin spice cookie, pumpkin spice cold brew, pumpkin spice Frappuccino, and pumpkin spice reusable cup. Pro Tip: Get a strawless reusable cup to #SaveTheTurtles.

Do Your Research

You have no excuse not to keep up on every new fall trend. It’s constantly being shoved down your throat on Snapchat, so use it to your advantage. If you see Ariana Grande wearing a $300 fuzzy sweater in a color that doesn’t exist yet, you have to buy it. There is no other option.

Flaunt It

That hipster film camera you never use but paid too much for at Best Buy will come in handy during the fall. Once you have mastered the art of basic, it’s important to capture it in the most aesthetic way you can. Get your friends to go on at least 6 leaf-filled photo shoots throughout the season. If they’re busy, pay a hobo; it’s much too important to capture your hard work. Post them on Instagram with plenty of Facetune and filters applied. Less than 200 likes in 24 hours? Delete it. You have failed the art of basic and should try again next year.